I belong in a Seinfeld episode

Just from reading the title, the outer edges of your mouth may have started to curl in anticipation of some quick witted humor or pun. With that in mind, I don't plan on disappointing you at all, in fact if you are as twisted as I am you may down right laugh, or as the young ones these days say LOL....

As you may or may not know, the wife and I bought our first home this month and we are packing up our place to make this as painless as possible. We have noticed that we are typical hoarders in that, we keep anything we have ever come into contact with, even if it is broken. With that being said, I moved on to the spare bedroom where our virtual dumping ground for the unwanted and secondary items have made their final resting place. From a distance things can be seen oozing out from under bed, or poking out from behind the television.
The quest to resurrect cleanliness back to this room has begun and before I know it I was out of floor space.

All of my years of life must have given me great wisdom, because without any rational or even a question, I chose to lean the bed and box spring against the wall. Not only against the wall, but long end up. In retrospect, this gave the bed a greater chance of falling, and when it fell it would fall twice as hard.

With all of this room that I now had to get stuff done you could imagine how the eighty four inch leaning box spring could slip my mind. For what could not have been more than three minutes after I leaned the box spring with such precision against the wall, my greatest fear was about to become reality.

I was in complete and total pack mode. I was on the floor with stacks of newspapers, tape, boxes, and tons of ornamental nick knacks that were destined to become one package. With my mind set on the tedious task of wrapping and packing I must have missed the first twenty seconds of the box springs' journey to my head. Suddenly I could tell something was amiss, when, in the process of looking up I was smashed in the face with a speeding box spring constructed of what seemed like the hardest wood ever. It took me several seconds to utter a noise as too alert Fabi that I was in desperate need of some help.

She heard my whimpering from the other room and came running in to assist her former idol. As the dust settled around the room and I came out from under this beast of a bed item, blood was the final indicator that I had failed.

To conclude this with some dignity, all I can say is to lean them length wise against the wall and never play directly under these unforeseen dangers!!!!!!!